A few posts ago, I revealed that we are going to start house hunting in an effort towards implementing “Operation Live with Babci.” The last few weekends have been great fun. We’ve seen at least 2 dozen homes and driven past about 30 more and even have a few favorites. The problem is that the vast majority of the sellers have asking prices that range anywhere from 20-100% higher than the tax assessed value of the home. Yes, these sellers are still in la la land and think they can get $1MM for a $500K house. Yes, it may have been the case in 2006, but it’s 2012 and prices have dropped A LOT. Comparable sales also show that the homes are not selling at the asking prices either, but closer to the assessed values. People are still dreaming about that rich New Yorker that’s going to swoop in this summer and buy high if they are just patient. One house has been on the market over 1760 days and that still hasn’t happened. I don’t think there are that many Rich STUPID New Yorkers. I’m pretty sure they didn’t get rich by paying double for what a house is worth. I think my house hunt is going to last a long time, but nevertheless, I am still going to start putting offers in at the assessed values and see if anyone bites. I’m probably going to kiss a lot of frogs before I find my prince but at least I know what I’m up against.
In any of these situation where a task seems challenging or insurmountable, I ask Babci to say a little prayer for me. I wouldn’t call myself overly religious but I do think Babci has a direct hotline to God. When she’s rooting for me, it almost always results in the desired outcome on the other end. Here’s the thing though. She doesn’t just talk to God when she prays. She often calls out to her dead relatives to help her out. Her twin sister does it too. In both cases, they call upon their husbands most often to pull a favor for them. Yet again, in both cases, their husbands were absolutely brutal to them when they were living.
Something mixed between Polish folklore and the Catholic faith makes them believe that rotten dead people must make amends to the people they hurt and abused while they were living. It’s like the Polish purgatory. It’s not only absolutely ironic that my father has been dead for over 20 years after threatening to repeatedly kill my mother, but she is also thrilled that she gets her revenge by making him her indentured servant indefinitely. Ah, the little things that make a cute old lady feel justice in life. I think she also believes that uncalled for suffering in life like the kind she experienced early on with war, hunger and death brings you a little closer to God. God is more likely to pull a favor for someone like her who’s had a very hard life already vs someone who’s had it easy all along. Catholicism is all about suffering for the good of man. She took the blows so that I could have a better life and she’s pretty happy that her plans for me have worked out according to her plan.
So yes, she is presently calling upon my dear old dad to help with the house hunt. She is talking to him and God on a daily basis . Let’s hope they can pull some strings for me.
I often wonder how a person like Babci who’s had such a hard life can still be such a jolly and happy old lady instead of a bitter and crabby old person that steals children’s kickballs when they fall into her yard. I think it’s as simple as her attitude and faith. She has the faith that everything in life evens out in the end. Good people have a good life and bad people will end up paying for their wrongdoing. She feels empowered to put a curse on those that have done her wrong. She doesn’t go hexing people willy nilly, but if someone truly did something unthinkable, then she believes it’s her duty to wave her fist in the air, curse them and then have faith that they will pay for their wrongdoing.
Babci’s feeling of empowerment is what keeps her going and it can keep you going too. Babci didn’t have a lot of things to empower her, so she chose the only thing that was available to her which was faith and mystical forces. Your empowerment can also come from faith, but if you’re not religious, it can also come from the fact that you are educated and marketable or that you are a great communicator or funny or a hard worker. Each individual has strengths that can take them places if they feel empowered to use them to their fullest. All you have to do is believe that life is worth living no matter how hard it gets and that you have the strength and will to come out whole on the other end of your crisis. What is it about yourself that makes you feel empowered?
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