Vacation, Bad Dreams & Emotional Spending

by Sandy L on August 17, 2010

Just a quick note:  I will be unplugging for a good chunk of this week for vacation.

I’m one of those people who have wild and crazy dreams on a regular basis. I have two recurring dreams. The first involves a person trying to kill me. Sometimes I run, but in most cases, I use elaborate forms of self defense to fight back.  In one of my dreams, someone was trying to shoot me with a cross bow, so I used the underside of a kitchen chair as my shield. My husband loves these stories because they’re usually pretty creative.

Since I’ve had children, I now have a new and not so buffyesque recurring dream. I dream that one of my children is drowning.  It usually ends with me not be able to reach my child in time to save him. I had this very dream last night.. This time it was my oldest son. We were underwater and I saw him several feet below me with a wild look in his eyes and his arm reaching up for me. I grabbed him and swam furiously to the surface but we were just too deep. When we finally reached the top, he was limp. I pounded on his back and nothing. I got my bearings and then tried CPR.  After two blows, his eyes opened.  At that very moment I shot awake and realized it was just a dream.

With the adrenalin still pumping through me, I instantly thought that I can’t wait until the fall so I can put my kids back into swim classes again.  (We took the summer off.)  Even if I were strapped for cash, this item would be one of the last things to fall off my budget.

I’ve always thought of myself as a rational spender not an emotional one.  But really, that’s all baloney. The reality is that I am an emotional spender about certain things. Swimming lessons is one of them. I have a few more that are tied to childhood experiences, but I just thought I’d stop fooling myself. I’m not as cold and rational as I’d like to think I am.

Please have a seat on the first gen psychiatric chair and spill. What are your emotional spending categories? What event(s) prompted this spending to be emotional for you?

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicole August 17, 2010 at 7:59 AM

My maternal great grandfather drowned, so my mother was crazy with the swimming lessons. Our kid is also starting early.

I’m not sure about emotional spending, but I’ve definitely been having nightmares about classes starting.

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Molly On Money August 17, 2010 at 10:18 AM

I go back and forth from feeling like an alcoholic on the wagon and everyday I start new to feeling I don’t have any emotional spending issues.
Yesterday I spent the day with my kids and Mom shopping for school clothes. Each kid knew how much money they had to spend and created a prioritized list of their needs/wants. It was quite practical.
I’m not purchasing any clothing for a year and so sometimes when we do heavy shopping like this it can be difficult on me. I was doing great until the end of the day. We found a store that had great prices. I got bored waiting and put a cute cheap jacket on. My Mom looked at me and said, ‘I’ll get that for you if you really like it.’ I liked it and she bought it. When I got home I realized I had at least two other jackets in my closet that were similar to this one- Hence the reason I don’t NEED to buy any clothes.
That small rush I get at the register while purchasing items is getting smaller and less potent. I’m at the point now after I do an impulse purchase I can think of more reasons to return it then keep it. I guess that’s progress!

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Money Reasons August 17, 2010 at 10:38 PM

Swimming was one of my big fears. So when my son was 3 we entered him in swimming classes. He’s 10 now and a great swimmer. My daughter taught herself how to swim at 2 (partially by watching big brother, but also partially because she is a fish). Even though my daughter could swim at an early age to a certain degree. We also entered her in swimming classes at age 3 too! She’s always the best swimmer in her class (again because she’s part fish).

I had a dream where I was on vacation, and someone held my son (who was a baby at the time), then ran. I ran after them (if I caught them, I’d do damage), but I was so overweight, I couldn’t catch them. This prompted me to lose 40 lbs.

I’m over weight again, perhaps I need to dream that dream again!!!

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Squirrelers August 18, 2010 at 6:43 PM

For me, it’s pictures of my kids with their grandparents. The reason? I only really got to know my maternal grandmother. My paternal grandfather passed when I was very little, and I never met the other two grandparents. So to me, it’s a big deal that my daughter has become so close to them. I want her (and them) to enjoy it to the fullest.

That said, I know that none of us will be around forever. So, I really want some high quality, professional photos of kids with Grandma and Grandpa. My daughter, who’s older than my little son and has a tight bond with them, could then appreciate these photos as she gets older.

I would even store hard copies in a safe deposit box, and/or with a relative. I’m that weird when it comes to this!

I don’t need to be in the photos, I just want them together. It’s not completely rational, and it’s emotionally driven, but I don’t care. I will get this done soon.

Ok…now I can get off the FirstGen chair:)

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Budgeting in the Fun Stuff August 19, 2010 at 2:32 PM

*sits down*

I throw money at problems. I’m getting better at calming down and acting rationally, but my first response to almost any crises or even small problems is to say “frack money” and try to solve it any way I can (even if that means spending $6 on an overpriced snack so my husband will stop being hungry grumpy). I hate stress…like I avoid it like the plague (bad stress, I like good stress like vacationing and planning fun events). Sometimes it’s money well spent and sometimes I just wasted it (like $25 of dog immune system pills when I should just have immediately sucked it up and gone to the vet with Mr. Pug)…

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Shauner August 24, 2010 at 9:03 PM

You might want to have a sleep study done. I used to have 2 recurring dreams. One was like yours … I’m underwater holding my breath while I try to get to the surface. In the other I’m in a burning, smoke filled building trying to find my way out. In each I would wake up gasping for breath just as I got to the surface or found a door out. A sleep study revealed that I had apnea and was holding my breath for 30-40 seconds about 30 times per hour! Food for thought.

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Sandy L August 24, 2010 at 9:20 PM

Just catching up from vacation and work now so I can finally comment.

Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one paranoid about drowning in general.

Molly, I’m convinced I can easily get rid of 1/2 my belongings if push came to shove…and I’m not even a shopper. I also seem to have too many winter clothes as the only time you see me at malls is at Xmas time when I’m doing holiday shopping.

BFS- sometimes throwing money at a problem is worth it. Since I majorly shopped for the best hotel/flight/rental car deals for our vacation, I really didn’t sweat the cost of meals and other activities. It was my way of compromising. Yeah, I blew extra money by being spontaneous, but it was worth not having to plan out every second of our itinerary in advance.

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